I'm in a slump.

Nothing I draw is good enough, and it all a failed attempt at whatever i try. My writing feels like its the same as the last and that i'm just saying the same thing with diffrent words. I don't know what to do with my time and somedays i can't even listen to music because it just makes me feel even worse.

All i want to do is sleep and i havn't dreamed in weeks.

I wouldn't say i'm depressed because my problems are insignifigant compaired to everyone else and i know that i shouldn't feel this way when so many people are having an obviously harder time than me.

and yet i still do.

It's not that bad when i'm with my friends, i have fun, i smile, i enjoy life with them around maybe because they people i hang around with are always... i don't know. not happy. but... dramatic, full of life, non subtle. infuriating, hillarious, random, bright, teasing, a little bit mean.

Maybe i just enjoy their company to much, a miniture spotlight thats not really even focused on me but still. they're keeping away ever little drop of this feeling and its only when i'm alone that i feel it.

and my family is just bringing out all the nasty sickly bad blood in me. i don't know why but spending time with them makes me hate every moment and wish that they just left me alone.

and they're not doing anything, its all me.

i don't know what to do with my life and its getting arder to finding a meaning in my day to day life.

i hope this is just that awkward teenage phase thing that will go away, because its not getting better and its not getting worse and i don't want to be stuck here.

I hope that i'll find a place somewhere were i can just walk along and look at the christmas lights at night.